I hear folks complaining all the time about how there are no good men or women out there. I hear women saying men can’t be trusted, they are lazy and don’t want to work and they’re just looking for a woman that’s going to take care of them like their Mother did. I hear men saying that women just want a man for his money, or to take care of her kids and the majority of women have bad attitudes and talk too much. However, beneath all the complaints are single men and women that just want to be loved, cared for and to be important in someone’s life. Here is the recipe for attracting that loving, caring mate who will treat you with the respect and kindness you desire and deserve.
Love yourself and put yourself first.
Now I know that may sound like I’m going in the wrong direction, but keep reading. You cannot attract someone who shows you love if you do show love to yourself. We teach people how to treat us and if you are not invested enough in yourself to know that you are important and you matter, how can you expect anyone else to do the same? So, how do you show love to yourself? By taking care of yourself, doing things you enjoy, showing respect for yourself and most important, by thinking positive thoughts about yourself. Thoughts such as “I’m so stupid” or “I hate myself” or “I don’t deserve…” are all damaging thoughts that will not attract the person you want. Instead, look in the mirror and say affirmative statements like “I love you” or “I’m beautiful/handsome inside and out, and I deserve a wonderful person in my life”. Remember, a belief is just a thought you think over and over again, so the more you say this to yourself, the more it will become real for you.
Step 2: Be the person you want to attract.
Ask yourself this question: Do I have the traits I am looking for in a mate? If you want a kind person, then be kind to yourself and others. If you want an ambitious person, then show ambition. If you want an outgoing person, be outgoing. Remember, like attracts like, so adopt those traits you want your mate to have. Become that person you want to attract. The wonderful thing that happens when you do this is you begin to live more passionately and ultimately become a more confident, more attractive person. You are no longer looking for that special someone; you are living a wonderful life and you are open and available for that person to come into your life when you least expect it. You trade your thoughts of “I don’t have what I need and I need you to
take care of what I’m lacking” to “I already have what I need and I would like you to join me in my life’s journey”.
Step 3: Set the intention.
Write down what you desire in a mate, set the intention by saying to yourself, “My ideal mate is coming into my life”. Read this list often, visualize yourself in your ideal relationship, and then just allow the Universe to do its magic. When writing, be specific and clear about what you want. If you write “I want a beautiful woman with lots of money”, you may get that woman, but she may also come with control and anger issues, a crazy baby daddy, and more debt than money! A more specific intention would be “I want a kind, beautiful, romantic woman who is available emotionally and physically, manages money well, has good credit, and enjoys life” or “I want a sweet, loyal, loving man who is honest, hard-working, respectful and good with children”. Remember, whatever you ask for or continuously think about is what you will get, so be careful and do not direct your thoughts to what you don’t want by constantly talking about the kind of man or woman you don’t like, because that is who you will attract. Instead, keep your mind focused on the mate you do want and then let go and allow your desires to flow into your life. You may receive someone even better than you asked for.
Step 4: Be grateful for what you already have.
One of the best ways to get your desires to flow effortlessly into your life is by being grateful for what you already have. Iyanla Vanzant, author and motivational speaker says “You can’t have what you want until you want what you have”. When you are grateful for what you already have, you are asking the Universe to give you more things to be grateful for. So, be thankful for the people that are already in your life, your friends and family. Be thankful for the wonderful things you are already experiencing. Be thankful for the kindness, love and respect you already receive from others. Then be prepared for more good and more love to come into your life than you could ever imagine.